Monday, December 15, 2008

The REAL Secret Life of Bees


In light of the brutal slanders against bees portrayed in the recent film The Secret Life of Bees, we at The Beehive feel it our solemn duty to speak the truth to power. Herewith, some critical facts about bees:

• Bees seldom, if ever, practice racial discrimination. This resulted, during the 1980s, in a mass exodus of so-called "Africanized Bees" from the regions near Cape Town, South Africa.  
• The antibiotic properties of honey have made it the treatment of choice for Hippler's Calaria, a rare bacterial disease affecting those with genetic predisposition to asthma.
• In 1836, Quaker beekeepers shot a rogue grizzly which had been destroying hives across Montana's Elk Creek County. Government officials cracked down with a severe reduction in apiary permits, and the beekeepers responded with gunfire. The "Honey Rebellion" lasted seventeen days and resulted in the deaths of two federal marshals and one innocent bystander before the beekeepers put down their arms. 
• When performing its mating dance, the common honeybee can attain a flight speed of just over 37 miles per hour--equal to that of a startled mute swan.
• The Gilded Borer Bee of New Zealand is the source of an enameling agent so treasured by artisans that its market price rivals that of platinum.  
• Studies have shown that Orchid Largent Bees can detect tumors in humans as well as the most sophisticated medical scanning devices. 

2 comments:

  1. Nothing much to say to this one, except "Hmmmm!" And you need more commenters! I feel like the only fan of the Conchords ....

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  2. Congratluations Gary (and Deb). I would have never known you were a meanie without this blog. De-claw the cat! Are you insame? Sure have some consciouss about bees, but what about cats? That's like cutting the knuckles off a human. Take a minute to Google it on the web instead of returning my phone calls. Oh, that's right you don't do that either. Maybe Deb will agree to the de-claw if you cut your knuckles off.

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